i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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