was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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