Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
