She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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