Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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