Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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