Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
