No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
