You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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