Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
