I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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