I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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