I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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