Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
