whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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