i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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