i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
