I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
