was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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