Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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