Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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