there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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