don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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