i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
