New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
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