so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
