please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
