you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
