so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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