No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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