Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
