just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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