Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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