I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
