Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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