At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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