Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
