just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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