omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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