Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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