where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
