Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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