I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Im part way to drunk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
