Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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  (704): you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/wl2h
  Replies (12) Good night (1552) Bad night (3426) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  my being single is dangerous.

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  (561): my being single is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/5ief
  Replies (24) Good night (4918) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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  (205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764
  Replies (47) Good night (6258) Bad night (1974) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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  (978): as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..." http://tfl.nu/w3wh
  Replies (17) Good night (5822) Bad night (1346) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  His dick was poking my bladder. That big...

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  (310): His dick was poking my bladder. That big... http://tfl.nu/xupw
  Replies (34) Good night (7541) Bad night (1305) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

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  (907): She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in." http://tfl.nu/4iy3
  Replies (24) Good night (5034) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.

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  (740): I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/4f6m
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (2232) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

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  (407): Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night. http://tfl.nu/ytoh
  Replies (8) Good night (3820) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2265) Bad night (1659) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl

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  (610): she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl http://tfl.nu/lpki
  Replies (61) Good night (707) Bad night (12064) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT

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  (828): HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS. (336): TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT http://tfl.nu/5rl9
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (433)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!

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  (207): Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck! http://tfl.nu/r6pa
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.

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  (502): Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain. http://tfl.nu/4o3l
  Replies (3) Good night (283) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun

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  (847): Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun http://tfl.nu/7pg6
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay

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  (613): i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay http://tfl.nu/bes3
  Replies (5) Good night (618) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt

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