I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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