I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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