Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didn't notice because vodka
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
