"it" just moved
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize