Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
