I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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