Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
