PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
