He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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