I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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