i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
