My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
