Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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