he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
