you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
