Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
