saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
