I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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